Thursday, May 31, 2007
ESCAPING
So, tomorrow I leave for a nice, long holiday (the two adjectives follow each other, I think). Ten glorious days of sunshine and- well, all else that a holiday generally involves. I'm definitely looking forward to it...
...As I did the last time. What happened then was that I was assuaged by guilt at not working. My conscience repeatedly poked me to put my time to constructive use- enjoying carelessly was not an option.
That makes me sound like a workaholic. But no, I'm not- not to too great an extent anyway. It's not as if I need to be working to keep happy- my dreams involve long times of doing nothing. The only reason I work hard is to clear the way for the future, so that I don't have to work then.
When an opportunity to relax does arrive, I force myself to do some small chore, or at least, mentally plan how to do them.
Having nothing to do is a major problem for me. Time seems to weigh on my mind- dragging me through the quagmire of time where memories haunt... I really have too much time to think...
So, that sounds like I use work to escape from myself, which is even worse than being a workaholic.
Ah well, whatever the case, happy holidays!
posted by Clezevra @ 6:39 AM  
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